Once upon a time singer Pearly Gates had a naive romantic fantasy about the star of Berlin Erotic Encounters, Zeb Atlas. In her daydream, she imagined Zeb pumping his delts and pointing to faggy pie charts while away from home when in all likelihood he was probably fucking Adam Killian and getting blown by Jake Cruise. But in her most recent video covering Diana Ross’ Love Hangover, she and Zeb embrace his real-life dick suckery and start acting gay for each other—gay, Gay, GAY!!!
The video begins with Zeb lathering his massive man-boob in a neon-lit bubble bath while Pearly lounges on her bed in a sultry red dress (as women do). But then, watch out bitches! Here comes the sassy club beat! Zeb intensely bites his lip, pouts, and rocks back in forth while two undergraduate dance majors behind him show him up with their 1990s moves. Zeb’s biceps are as big as his head and if he flexes too hard, he’ll explode the recording studio… put the powder kegs away, Zeb!
Then, at 0:47 the insanely ripped muscleman unimpressively rips open his shirt with not one but two tries. TWO??!! C’mon, Zeb! Before this we thought you could rip apart a zebra with your bare hands, but now we’ve seen you bested by a wimpy cotton undershirt and it makes us a little sad. But worry not, because after his flaccid display it’s onto the slow jamz… and Pearly is massaging his pepperoni-sized nipples through his shirt something awful. But Zeb’s not interested in making sweet love to women or men. He’s all about the music betches, so BACK OFF!
Actually, Pearly knows who butters her bread and near the end of the video she delivers what we gay fans actually want… not auto-tuned Diana Ross covers or Zeb dancing in a lavender-colored gay bar. No, what we want is Zeb shirtless in tight jeans and briefs. That way we can still we appreciate he and Pearly’s fake not-gay relationship while also appreciating his furry rock hard body and delicious ass.
We already have a permanent hard-on for outdoor survivalist Bear Grylls, but there have gotta be some tricks that even he doesn’t know—like how to catch a fish with your man-worm. Be warned, this trick is for advanced naturalists… and you may wanna bring a magazine… or a hooker.
We all know how horrible porn acting can be. And studios will spend zillions to make buttsecks look arty. But the latest XTube star BlackSpark shows you don’t need crappy scripts and big budgets to make awesome, intelligent, and arty porn—you just need some colored lights, good editing, and hot men!
We are loving his work. We’ve always thought that ChaosMen’s edge videos were some of the artiest porn we’ve seen—they take a blowjob, edit it out of sequence, throw in a pulsing heartbeat and some surprise shots of rimming, pissplay, and dildo work, and then build to a cum splattering climax! Very cool. Well, the cool, confident, lo-fi, DIY aesthetic of BlackSpark really turns us on. Hell, he makes washing dishes look sexy and whoever his cameraman is really know how to work the angles. And some of his best videos are free!
Are you listening porn studios? This anonymous sexual superhero is showing you up… and us arty porn fags are hungry for more.
Straight horror franchises like Friday the 13th have been capitalizing on teen hormones and prepubescent boners for decades, so isn’t about time that we homos had our own schlocky gay slasher flick with lots of eye candy running around in underwear? Enter 1313: Nightmare Mansion. It features a Brent Corrigan lookalike encouraging all of his bi-curious college pals to drink poison wine and stalk each other in whitey-tighties. It looks gayer than Christmas, though it’s only PG-13 so if you want hardcore action you’re probably better off watching Francois Sagat rape the unded in LA Zombie. Or you could always return to Phantom of the Paradise for your gay horror jollies.
Here’s some gay porn masquerading as a naked yoga video. The two hairless musclemen basically sex each other up to horrible techno. But there’s lots of butts and making out. One of our guys went to a naked yoga session in NYC once. The class was merely a way for lonely “enlightened” dudes to touch and sweat all over each other. We’re pretty sure the instructor used the class to get ass. It was about as zen as the average bathhouse.
Republicans. They conspire on how fuck gays all the time (legislatively speaking), so it’s only fair that we spend time thinking about fucking them too. We already lusted over the GOP electoral candidates in Vanity Fair‘s Red Meat calendar, but now DaddyHunt.com has clad ten red state all-stars in leather for your BDSM dreams. Aaron Shock, Rand Paul. Marc Rubio, and Scott Brown—better watch your asses because we certainly are.
BTW, according to Joe.My.God. the music in the clip is the 1979 leather dance anthem “Walk The Night” by the Skatt Bros, who were like a Canadian version of Village People.
Diesel Washington became known as the porn world’s craziest blogger by posting rants against the industry, “cum-dumpster twinks“, and sexy video shorts of himself on his blog Crimes Against Nature. But now that’s all over. Not only has he renamed his blog Diversity, Opportunity, Employment, Saga (DOES), but he’s gonna start tweeting his rants, carefully “choosing his battles”, working on his Facebook and Model Mayhem pages and posting XTube videos of him fucking people—like the one above. It all sounds very responsible, creative and career oriented, but will we like the new Diesel?
In separate blog entries posted the day before New Year’s Eve, Diesel said, “Sorry for the short posts, instead of getting on this blog and ranting about all the problems in gay porn. I decided to trim down my rants and pick my shots.” He then added, “I’m stepping out of my comfort zone by tackling different media forms… and just seeing what happens.” Lastly he mentioned, “Your probably wondering, ‘Where are all the funny and entertaining posts you used to do?’ I will go back to posting on the regular like I used to, I just needed a break from blogging for awhile.”
We’re actually happy that Diesel’s becoming more career-oriented. While we love his crazy unedited rants, we always wondered whether they kept him from landing an exclusive contract—after all, studios probably aren’t eager to hire a performer who will tell all if things go bad. If he’s setting himself for anything it’s undoubtedly more time in front of the camera—whether for a studio or on his own terms—and that’s something we can all look forward to this new year!
… all the gays of ABC’s Modern Family at least. All two of them. When the gay dads spy a stranger using their hot tub, they’re ready to beat him. But when they realize it’s just their hunky straight neighbor, they’re practically ready to beat him off. You may remember Mr. Marsden as the scruffy Cyclops in the recent X-Men movies. We wanted to do him back then too. He could keep on his ruby red visors unless he really wanted to blow us away.
Via Sticky
Lots of guys wanna get with Hugh Jackman. He can act, he can dance, and we’re not sure if he can sing but he probably looks pretty good naked! But few of us have the chutzpah to actually walk up and touch Wolverine’s package—but not this cricket ball! Instead of asking for permission, it just bounces right over and gooses him in the balls. Such boldness! We could all learn something from this courageous inanimate object.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the flat
Logan McCree’s wife wondered where his boner was at.
Though his tattooed body lay right by her side,
he wanted to give Damien Crosse a ride.
And so when she left Damien came in all macho
and at Logan’s cock like a plateful of nachos.
As they started fucking, they both felt all right
and said “Merry Christmas to all and TAKE THAT DICK, BITCH!”
Do you like reindeer? You won’t. Here we see a reindeer in its natural habitat. It is an animal closely related to the unicorn. They both have horns and are ripped. So ripped in fact that we’re re-considering our stance on bestiality.
Chip Tanner’s a weird one. He dances for gender equality, has cyber sex with himself, and juggles for sexually abused teens. He even made himself vomit once. He’s like a porn world performance artist except that we can’t always tell when he’s being serious and when he’s just fooling around.
Case in point: the video above. Chip doesn’t appear in the video, but it’s shot from his point of view as he fishes a knife out of the kitchen drawer and considers killing his sister, raping her dead body, and then maybe going out for a sandwich afterwards. He tries to persuade her that it’s all part of God’s plan, but she’s not buying it. In fact, she seems a little weirded out by her looney brother and his creepy chuckling. We know we are. That doesn’t mean we’re gonna stop masturbating to him though. Via
We found this hilariously demented Dutch short and we just had to share. We’re not in favor of hunting necessarily, but then again neither is this film. If we said any more we’d ruin it, so just watch. And season’s bleedings!
Even though the pope’ssupposedly a virgin, we know that he enjoys art based on bathhouse scenes and has men regularly strip for him. That’s pretty gay, but this week Papa Razzi proved he’s even gayer than we thought as he invited a handful of hunky acrobats to strip down and perform for him while he and his nuns leered with delight. Geez! Next thing you know, he’ll be putting on a dress, red flats, and a mankini. Oh wait…
Every year a bunch of bodacious Boston men dress in skimpy undies, running shoes, and santa hats for the annual SSRun to raise money for local non-profits. They raised a lot more than just $218,268. They also raised our heart rates and the bulges in our pants. Behold all the good looking Santas and try not to think naughty thoughts! It’s impossible. Looks like it’s gonna be coal-filled stockings for us again this year. Good. With energy prices what they are, candy’s overrated.
Other Sexy Santas on QC: What did Santa do after the presents were delivered? Naughty List! Bad Boys Over Santa’s Lap Boston’s 2005 Santa Run Sites We Love: Merry XXX-Mas!
