QueerClick

We're not begging for votes or anything, but we just thought we'd mention that QueerClick's up for Best Porn Blog at the Cybersocket Awards. You can vote from now until December 31st and even give some love to our favorite (and sadly miscategorized) Mobile Site: Guys With iPhones.

We still have our Cybersocket Award for Best Porn Blog from last year. It's too big and heavy to use as jewelry or a sex toy, but we still carry around with us all around West Hollywood. The gents comment on how big it is and we say, "Why yes... yes it is."

Boo! Did I scare ya? Well, if you're not scared now, prepare to be terrified with this week's horrifying Halloween edition of Pataporn with Chinpoko!!!!!!! Mwaah hahahhahahahaha! (That's my evil laugh, bitches.)

Count Cockula FleshJack

Blah! Blah! Blah! I vant to suck your cock! Or rather, Count Cockula vants you to suck your own cock using his vampire-themed Fleshjack.

The boys at Fleshjack have entered the Halloween fray with their own incisor inspired masturbation toy. Call it "weird-looking" or "hokey," but the style has been selling like crazy!

I must say, the promotional video from the boys at Fleshjack is pretty damn hot too. I mean, real hot. That boy fucks the hell out of that fanged fucker.

Wish I could. Apparently, my own review of the Fleshjack Vibro wasn't good enough because other members of the QueerClick staff received samples to try. And I did not.

Not that I'm bitter...

But I'm bitter! I LOVE TRUE BLOOD! I LOVE TWILIGHT! WHY CAN'T I STICK MYSELF INTO SOME HOT YUMMY VAMPIRE GOODNESS? LIFE'S NOT FAIR!!!! NOT FAIR!!

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Your expert in all things cockulous is here. It's time for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!

Hot House Backroom: Tony Mecelli and Rod Daily

Tony Mecelli has one of the most unoriginal names in the world.

But Goddamn he's hot. Also, I'm real into Rod Daily right now, or I guess I want to be into him.

L. Allerton, a QC commenter, wasn't a fan of the fauxhawk or tattoos, but I disagree. The way Mecelli throws Daily around by his hair is so barbaric and hot.

Basically, I think you should definitely see this video. Again Mecelli has a dumb porn name, and sometimes he his stare that makes him look a little dumb, but this man is one passionate fuck. It's official... I'm on the Mecelli bandwagon!

Next Door Buddies: Jake Steel and Rusty Stevens

Okay, so I get it. The scenario is super fake, and Next Door Buddies has a history of trying to make gay porn with super "straight" men, which I think is ridiculous.

So this scene begins with Rusty Stevens lifting weights in blue underwear.

Hold on! Stop the presses! Rusty Stevens looks good in those undies. And I'm talking real good. I couldn't believe my reaction. As I'm watching him lifts weights, all I could stare at was the huge woody under his blue shorts. It looks delectable. I got hard in a second. I want to suck him off so badly now.

Thank God Jake Steel did it for me. This boy goes to motherfuckin' town on Rusty's dick. I mean, you would have thought Jake was on death row and Rusty's cock was his last meal. Oh, but what a way to go, right?

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Okay, okay. Enough with all this "equality" stuff that everyone's talking about. I mean I agree. Still, aren't you just ready for some dick? I know I am. It's time for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!

Boys Smoking: Joey

Cancer is not hot... at all.

In fact, testicular cancer is prominent in young males, so check yo' balls, boys.

But today I'm talking about lung cancer... well, kind of. If you haven't noticed, I never review Boys Smoking because I'm just not that into it.

Well, things have changed...

Joey is drop-dead gorgeous. I totally think he looks like James Franco and ever since I saw Milk, I want James Franco to suck me off. Hmmm, maybe that's why I think this guy is so hot.

Yes, yes... the smoking thing is still gross, but everything else about Joey is so perfect. The way he trims his hair, the size of his cock, those rippling abs... damn.

Anybody got a light?

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There were some hits and misses this week folks. Yep, I'm going to get rough! Good thing you like it that way. It's PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!

Island Studs: Barry Returns

Look out! The 70's are making a comeback! In fact, Barry looks like he's from another Randy Blue retro porn.

Nope, it's just a skinny twink with freakishly feathered hair.

Okay, maybe I'm being picky—but it's my job—however, Barry just didn't float my boat or set its sails towards Island Studs. Don't get me wrong; his body is hot, but when you're a dick watching gay porn, lots of their bodies seem hot.

Like the great gay Steven Sondheim wrote, You gotta get a gimmick if you wanna get some head! Or something like that...

Maybe looking like a twink straight from 1975 is Barry's gimmick, but I just wasn't a fan. The grown out pubes are nice, but the hair's just too much. Although, it looks much better when he's in the shower. When dry, it's too big. He looks like the reincarnation of Farah Fawcett, but with a nine-inch dong.

Now I will say, the cock on this boy is magnificent. Honestly, I think Barry's going to be super hot after 4 years (and a haircut). By then, he'll be more comfortable with himself and get into the jack-off scenes a little more. I guess only time will tell.

Extra Big Dicks: Mario and Devon

Size queens rejoice! Extra big dicks has pulled out all the stops this week.

Mario and Devon are just... exquisite. And I'm not just talking about their cocks. These boys are practically equals in everything they do.

Mostly in porn, only one guy has the huge dick. So it's like that guy gets all the attention. However, I almost found myself overwhelmed in this video. It's too much! It's too stimulating! It's like watching an incredible tennis match, you'll hurt your neck looking back and forth and back and forth between the bouncing balls and the big rackets!

First Mario tries to suck Devon, and then Devon gags while trying to inhale Mario's thick tool.

What makes it super hot is that these boys are quite passionate, and the faces Devon makes while taking in Mario made me hard in a second. And he takes all of it, boys all of it! PATA PATA PATA!

I only wish these two would have flipped. I would have loved to seen Devon take his revenge on Mario's ass.

Hottest post of the week.

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It's kinky. It's classy. It's offensive. It's PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!!!

Cocky Boys: Wolf Hudson and Skyler Caine

Kink is making a cumback at Cocky Boys this week. Wolf Hudson is back, and good God... I forgot how big his dick is. Seriously. As Skyler sucks it, I had to keep telling myself that Wolf's cock is real—sometimes it almost seems like an oversized dildo.

If you like smooth, pretty bottoms—with a bit of gayface—then Skyler is for you. His face looks sculpted. Watching him get fucked and biting his bottom lip is pretty damn hot.

Maybe that's why the scenes of him sucking Wolf's cock are so incredibly hot. It might also help that Skyler loves to deep throat over and over and over. PATA PATA! Maybe Skyler should come see Chinpoko!

The fucking in this video is nice too, but mainly because of the dirty talk. In fact I wish there was more of it because that's when the scene comes alive. There's only one problem with dirty talk—you can tell when the editors are replaying a scene from a different angle.

Maybe some people like looking at the same porn from a different view, but I keep thinking, "Hey, I've heard that before." I'm paying good money for fresh porn dammit...I want 20 minutes of all original fucking—no reruns!

Still a great video to check out, lube up, and get off to. PATA PATA PATA!

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This is a very eventful week, dear fans. I've finally met the man of my dreams! I know you can't wait to hear who it is, but you've got to wait for it. (Or you can just scroll down, if you're a bitch!). It's time for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!

English Lads: Hayden & Liam

Blonde beauties abound at English Lads this week. If you're into guys playing "straight" then you'll love this, although I'm not so sure.

These guys love to suck dick. I mean, they adore it. They don't say it, but I've had enough guys suck on me to know. You can see it in their eyes.

Do you remember, the first time you sucked dick? Remember the trepidation, the worry, the fear...but then once you wrapped your lips around some guy's thick head it was like giving a fat baby Double-stuffed Oreos?

Well, Hayden and Liam have that same look. Make no mistake, these two will be fucking and if English Lads is smart...they'll pair these two up again—hot chemistry!

P.S. Watch the cumshots. That's all I'm saying.

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Hellooooo my fellow QueerClickers! It's an exciting week. Not only am I reviewing porn but I also am reviewing a Fleshjack Vibro!!!! I really do have the best job in the world. It's time for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!

Corbin Fisher: Dawson and Dolph

OH MY GOODNESS! Is anyone else as excited about this I as I am?

Dawson and Dolph! Dolph and Dawson! EEEE! I'm pre-cumming now, just from saying their names.

I know this is totally a publicity stunt thought up by Corbin Fisher and BelAmiOnline... and it's a good one!

This reminds me of those moments when my favorite characters are on another show. Oh, like when Angel would be on Buffy! Or when Steve Urkel was on Full House! It's always TV magic and this is definitely porn magic.

This video has it all. Passion, a cut cock, an uncut cock, a hot cum shot on Dolph's ass, and one helluva facial on Dawson's gorgeous mug.

Not to be missed.

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Hello dear Chinpoko fans. This is QueerClick's Editor D. I just want to take a moment and apologize for Chinpoko. He's been out of control this week. He's been running around the office screaming, "IT'S SO HOT THIS WEEK! IT'S SO HOT!" And he's been cumming on everyone. We try to tell him to keep his work in his cubicle, but he doesn't care. Just this afternoon while working at my computer, I felt something on my leg and I thought it was just Toby humping my leg again. But it wasn't. It was Chinpoko, and he ruined my new Diesel jeans. Be prepared... it's PataPORN With Chinpoko.

Hot House: Tony Mecelli

Chinpoko singing:
There's a time for love and a time for living.
You take a chance and face the wind.
An open road and a road that's—

Wait a minute! Oops... I'm sorry. The hunky houseman in Who's The Boss? was Tony Micelli, not Tony Mecelli. But I'll admit... I did have a crush on Tony Danza.

Can you imagine if this Tony Mecelli showed up at your front door as a housekeeper? Oh My Gawd! I can just imagine myself opening the door with a robe on and my foreskin up in a towel, just like Angela... and there he is—my Tony! PATA PATA! I think I'm going to have my own sitcom!

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I'm actually SORE from cumming so much. I'm serious. It took me so long to write this post this week because the guys were just so damn hot. Grab your lube and get ready for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!

Straight Australian Guys Jacking Off: Braith

Guess what, dear fans... I'm moving to Australia! Okay, so I'm not really because too much travel makes a hard dick limp, however this Braith guy made me consider relocating.

I don't know how the hell to say this guy's name, but who the hell cares? Does it rhyme with "straight"? His name could be Pencildick for all I care. The pictures totally drew me into this scene. Ahh, and the one where he is biting his shirt. PATA PATA!

Also, I love it when guys are oiled up. LOVE IT! It reminds me of sweaty passionate sex. Braight's body looks like perfection as he strokes his thick tool, while his muscles gleam in oil.

Not to be missed, folks.

Sean Cody: Hawaii - Jake and Matt

Sean Cody is just the master of porn.

Yeah, I said it. The things this man does with hot men and a camera can make me cum in two minutes flat.

Jake and Matt are just the hottest damn things you ever did see and their beginning conversation instantly made me hard. And I think Jake does it more for me. It's just so unassuming and genuine. You can tell he really likes getting fucked and sucking dick too.

The boys are fucking outside by a grill, which kind of made me want a burger. But anyway, soon Jake starts sucking Matt's cock with such vigor you can tell he wants it inside of him.

The next shot shows Matt fingering Jake's ass as he bends over. Soon Matt slides his cock in. Aaaahhh, the camera angle here is amazing—you're able to see Matt sliding inside Jake and Jake's expression up close. You could tell Jake had forgotten this was just a porn shoot.

Matt then proceeds to FUCK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF JAKE. Seriously, the boys fuck on camera for at least a good 15 mintues—maybe that's why the ending is sooooo good.

Jake shoots all over himself with cum flying everywhere. Matt responds with a shot of his own that almost hits Jake in the face. As the boys make out, the camera pans on the enormous amount of semen covering Jake's ripped abs.

HOTTEST POST OF THE WEEK, if not month. PATA PATA!

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