Oooh! We had a good week of porn here at QueerClick. Did you catch the highlights? No? Well you’re lucky you have me around. This week we got some pocket pool action, some seriously deep-dicking, and some mammoth manhood big enough to rival Shark Week. That’s right. But enough talk! It’s time for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Sean Cody: Kurt and Jess RATING: CUMWORTHY! – FIVE OUT OF FIVE
Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re not missing anything over at Sean Cody—you so are. This last week, the big-dicked Jess gave an awesome fucking to Abercrombie bottom Kurt. It was so good that I’m still drooling cum over it.
They start by doing shirtless pushups and before long they’re kissing. Kurt’s not wearing underwear and he quickly strips and jerks Jess’ big dick to a speedy erection. Kurt has no choice but to suck the huge thing best he can.
What follows is a great sideways fuck with lots of kissing. Kurt’s a literal pillow biter and when he moans, you can see every inch of why. Jess really plunges and churns his large cock inside Kurt’s ass and Kurt’s pained expressions only made me shoot even harder—PATA, PATA, PATA!!
As momma used to say, “It’s not any fun unless someone gets hurt.”
They fuck 3 different ways and when they cum, Jess licks up Kurt’s load and kisses him so he can taste. Fuck! Somebody give this boy a porn award already! YES: Huge stoner boy dick, muscular bottom Kurt, lots of kissing and nipple worship, chemistry a-go-go. NO: Sean, retire that fugly beige carpeting. Your performers deserve better.
Hey guys! Chinpoko had a crazy ass weekend and is just now recovering. It was like Christmas, Pride, Father’s Day, and Juneteenth all rolled into one. But let’s not talk about it. Let’s move along right to PataPORN With Chinpoko! Xtra Inches: Tristan Jaxx and Conner Habib RATING: 2 OUT OF 5 – HALF-COCKED
You’d think that two of the hottest stars in porn would create a cum-splattering scene together. You have Tristan Jaxx with his large and lengthy dick and everyone’s favorite vers porn otter Conner Habib. They can both deep throat and throw a good dick up the butt. Recipe for suck-cess, right? Wrong.
I get the anonymous public sex vibe that the video’s going for (and the camera man actually uses the reflective surfaces of the vehicles and their mirrors to capture some sexy and surprising images), but otherwise the whole scene comes off flat. I don’t know if it’s the bad lighting or the drab setting that’s getting these performers down, but it’s not their best performance. They suck and fuck without much electricity, which is a shame because I got turned on just looking at the names. YES!: Deep-throating, deep-thrusting, and lots of moaning and grunting NO!: The “wham-bam thank you ma’am” action seems like they’re just going through the motions
Why hello my dearies! It has been a while, but surely you didn’t think that Chinpoko had left you. What? You did? Bah! Well, I have made it up by putting together a jam-packed version of PataPORN With Chinpoko! I’m A Married Man: Girth Brooks and David Scott RATING: 3 OUT OF 5 – AROUSED
“Married man” (aha) Girth Brooks recounts a night where “The chicks were hot as balls… with cute little plump asses.” David Scott— who has his own hot balls and plump ass— decides to proposition Girth. Girth unbuckles his belt and David starts sucking him nice and slow. But Girth’s cock is so, well girthy, that David can barely fit the veiny man-rammer into his bearded face. I’d criticize David’s blowjob skills except who the hell can deep-throat a beercan? (Anyone who can, please leave a QComment… PATA, PATA!)
Girth eyes a storm and brings the skinny sucker back into his room to continue blowing him amid the grandmotherly furnishings. Surrounded by palm-tree throw pillows and a matronly bedside lamp, Girth rubs his nipples while pulling Scott’s face onto his plump cock head. It gets better when Scott starts doing a double-handed suck of Girth’s hard member, sucking the head while holding onto the erect prick. Girth’s hard as fuck and you can tell really enjoying it.
The sex gets progressively hotter starting with the boring testical cam, a hotter side fuck, and an eventual full body shot that allows you to see Girth’s member really sliding in and out of David… PATA, PATA, PATA!!!
My only complaint is that considering that Girth won’t kiss or blow a guy, he should at least mix it up the sex from time to time. He has definitely got the big-dicked butch act down but it’d be hot to see him occasionally take out his dick, slap it against his bottom’s ass, and then ram it all the way back in rather than just ram a guy. WHAT’S GOOD: Girth has an enormous cock and David makes a ideal fuckslut with a slender body, a cute dick, and nice ass. WHAT’S BAD: The sex is hardly mind-blowing. Scott has a paltry “did-that-just-happen?” cum shot, and sucking only the head doesn’t count as “a blowjob” (yeah, I’m a bitch like that). Cocksure Men: Samuel O’Toole and Sean Stavos RATING: 5 OUT OF 5 – CUMWORTHY!
While Sean Stavos (the poor man’s Berke Banks) and Samuel O’Toole (who looks like an infinitely more handsome and built Pierre Fitch) make out, you can see Samuel’s jeans bulging.
Sean starts mouthing Sam’s cock through the denim and his briefs, and you can tell he really wants it… he deep throats that shit like a fat girl with an Otter Pop on a hot summer day. He even starts massaging Sam’s beautiful ass while doing it… very nice!
As you know Chinpoko loves making out and when the boys start kissing and jerking each other off, their cocks grow to full size. The cameraman does a good job focusing on other aspects rather than the sex at hand. When Sean blows Sam, you see Sean’s muscular ass flexing as he grinds his cock into the mattress.
When Sam starts plowing Sean from behind, you can tell by the way Sean moans and the way Sam grasps him from behind that they’re both really into it. Sam even gives Sean a reacharound… what a guy! The sex remains pretty hot with lots of kissing and the beautiful Sam really sticking it to Sean in several positions—take that Berke Banks and Pierre Fitch! WHAT’S HOT: The men are both hot, hairy, handsome, hung, and not afraid to kiss or jerk each other off. Sean also enjoys deepthroating Sam’s thick cock… like, a lot. WHAT’S SNOT: The opening scenes are church mouse quiet, the camera angles don’t always give a great view of the anal assault.
This week someone asked me why I’m always so nice to certain studios. “Are they paying you?” he asked. Whaaa?!! First off, I only accept ass as payment and second, I’d never sell my nuts to any man (OK, maybe not never, but certainly not for a good review). So to prove it to you, I’m gonna give it extra hard to the studios in this week’s PataPORN With Chinpoko! Chaos Men: Lancing, Van and Vance on QCX RATING: 2 OUT OF 5 – SEMI-ERECT
The boys strip down immediately and start playing with Lansing’s big floppy dong which Vance soon begins sucking. They soon put their sculpted bodies and beautiful asses on display as they get a suck chain going: Van sucks Lansing and Lansing sucks Vance, each moaning as they down each other’s rigid inches. Sadly, Van’s head gets in the way of Lansing’s cock—he becomes just a wig on a stick. But Vance feeds his rigid cock to Lansing like a pro and soon they change positions as Lansing stands so Van can suck him while Vance eats Van’s cock and jerks himself off.
Before long, Vance cant wait to sink his slender dick into Van’s ass. Sadly, the sex from this point becomes mechanical and uncreative—rote thrusting and only one position change. Hello boys, ever heard of reverse cowgirl? You don’t need the acrobatics of Sean Cody, but some variety puh-leaze!!! I started to go limp. But then Vance starts topping the biggest dick of the bunch, which got me hard, but alas the sex and the cum shots remain just a robotic until the climax.
Just get the paycheck and go, boys. YUM: the moaning, breathing, lots of bush and big dicks, plus Van also goes ass-to-mouth! YAWN: the bottom doesn’t get hard or exhibit much passion, the tops are robotic, and there’s no dirty talk or kissing.
June is busting out all over… HOPEFULLY ON YOUR FACE! Yes, I think I made that joke last June, but it’s so good. But I DO know what will make you bust out all over your own face… this week’s PataPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Xtra Inches: Gunner and Ricky Sinz RATING OF 5 – CUMWORTHY!
Whew! Xtra inches hit my fantasy right on the tip of the head! PATA PATA!
Can I just say that Gunner is one of the hottest names ever for man? Really it is. I think there was G.I. Joe character named Gunner that used to always give me a chubby. The name sounds so rough, tough, and ready to fuck.
Well, Gunner owns up to his namesake in this video. Not only does he have the thickest freakin’ prick I’ve seen in a while, he also has no mercy on Ricky’s tight hole. Gunner slams his cock way up into Ricky so much, I bet that boy gets a tickle in his throat while getting fucked.
This video had me at hello. Okay, they never actually say “hello”. It’s more like it had me at skater hats and tons of tattoos. OH! Chinpoko loves the bad boys!!!!
HOTTEST POST OF THE WEEK!
Randy Blue throws some surprises. Rear Stable lives up to its name. Jeffrey Dahmer does gay porn? And Phenix just keeps rising from the Asses! It’s all in this week’s PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Randy Blue: Text, Lies and Video, Part 4 RATING OF 5 – CUMWORTHY Randy Blue, in my opinion, has been making some pretty boring ass porn as of late.
Until now…
This week Blue concluded his Chris Rockway extravaganza with Part 4 of Text, Lies, and Video. If you ask me, Randy Blue should be kissing Chris Rockway’s money-making ass.
Rockway really is the star power of this series. Don’t get me wrong, Nicco Sky looks great and definitely has chemistry with the other actors, but Rockway does it best.
I think it’s because Rockway is a decent actor yet at the same time you can tell he’s in on the joke. He knows that he’s not making some high art—it’s porn. (Which I actually think is high art, but I’m a dick.) The way Rockway delivers his lines and reacts makes the audience feel like we are laughing with him—not at him.
I do appreciate that Blue is really trying to add some plot lines to internet porn. I think it’s great actually. I only hope that Randy Blue can get more actors like Rockway. It goes to show that when doing scripted porn just having a rockin’ hard ass and a thick seven-inch cock are not enough.
Okay, a rocking hard ass and a seven-inch cock are totally enough to do great porn. Maybe I’m just being picky.
Hottest post of the week!
I’ve decided the month of May should just be called the month of Gay. For one, it sounds better and the world really wouldn’t have to change a lot of the spellings. Well, at least for you English speakers, anyway. But thank goodness we all speak the language of cock and balls because it’s time for PataPORN with Chinpoko!!! Men at Play: Billy Berlin RATING OF 4 – FULLY ERECT If you’re blue and you don’t know where to go to,
Why don’t you go where fashion sits…
Putting on the Ritz with Billy Berlin sitting a huge fucking dildo…
Okay so that last line doesn’t really fit the music, but inspiration hit me.
Damn, men just look good in tuxedos, don’t they? Men like Fred Astaire, Hugh Jackman… KD Lang. So hot.
Billy Berlin already has classic debonair looks, but that coupled with this tux just sent me cumming all over the place. Billy’s amber eyes and those firecrotch pubes are such a rarity in the porn business that he’s such a sight for sore eyes. The solo shoot is really what Men At Play is all about. Men At Play really is classy porn. I know, it’s porn. Maybe some of you are wondering how you classify porn? Well, go to the site. The all-black design makes the site look super sleek (although sometimes it can take a little while to load). Also, I’m not one for super quaffed models (cough, cough… Randy Blue), but Men At Play always styles the models to look very masculine, clean, and polished. I think if Ralph Lauren went into porn instead of fashion, this is the site he would have designed.
An oil spill in the Gulf, volcanoes erupting, and pleated pants making a comeback. Ah, there’s been some tragedies this month people…but NOTHING is going to stop me from giving you the porn you deserve. It’s time for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!! UK Naked Men: Photographing Foreskins RATING OF 4 – FULLY ERECT
Foreskin alert! Foreskin alert! UK Naked Men has just released a great how to video of how to suck uncut cock. Are you listening, Cody Cummings?
This boy Shane is obsessed with Leo’s extra inch of skin. Shane takes that foreskin and he licks it, sucks it, bites it, tickles it, and fucks it. PATA PATA!
Of course Leo’s in heaven. Who doesn’t love a good blowjob? Ahh, isn’t that the best? You know, when a fella’s so obsessed with your cock that they can’t stop sucking it. Ah, I tell you dear fans… there ain’t nothing better than some awesome head. Leo is a lucky lucky man.
So, I’ve been watching different porn this week. Yep. That’s me…always mixing it up. Let’s hope you like. It’s time for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!
Straight Hell: Charlton(4) RATING OF 4 – FULLY ERECT
So normally, I’m not so into the Straight Hell website. I know that it’s fake and the guys are willing participants in the whole thing; if not, well, then all these people would be in jail.
Still usually scenes from the sight are just a bit too rapey for me. That’s right, I used the word “rapey.”
HOWEVER, there are exceptions to the rules and Charlton is one of them. This guy is ridiculously hot and thank goodness he’s not the best actor. When he’s being pounded you can TOTALLY tell that he loves getting fucked deep in the ass. He’s trying to scream and all that, but he can’t help but let his eyes roll up in the back of his head. PATA PATA!
Okay, I’m really not trying to get ahead of myself here but I do have to say…LANDON’S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahh, fuck the introductions people, we got porn to get to. IT’S PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Bentley Race: Josh Harris RATING OF 4 – FULLY ERECT
Josh Harris is always looking good. In fact, his last scene with Marco was one with some hot sweaty sex between two butch studs.
But damn, there’s just something about a surfer boy that makes him so hotter. I could just watch this boy frolic and play in the surf all day. Ohh, I feel like Tom Hanks in the movie Splash. EEE! And Josh is my merman!
Yes, I think Mermen are hot. Don’t judge me.
Springtime is a coming folks! And guess what? So am I!!! HAHA! Well, hopefully in about ten minutes let’s hope you are too. It’s time for PataPORN with Chinpoko!!! Stag Homme: Bacchus RATING OF 5 – CUMWORTHY
Well, now I’m horny and hungry!
Some of you may think it’s weird and messy, but this latest Stag Homme video blurs the boundary between porn and erotica.
In this video, Rob Nelson and Damien Crosse are passionate about dick… and honey, and milk, and strawberries, and well… the grocery list just goes on and on.
The most noteworthy moment is watching these boys fuck while they have cream poured all over on another. The video has a very primal and animalistic feel about it. It makes me want to march to my refrigerator, grab a carton of yogurt and a steak and beat my meat. HAHA! GET IT? Beat my MEAT? Seriously, I should start doing stand-up people.
Sean Cody going bareback? Dirty Tony is changing its name to Dirty Devin? And Cocksure Men, aren’t really that sure? All these questions and more shall be answered in this week’s Pataporn with CHINPOKO!!! Dirty Tony: Devin and Trent RATING OF 4 – FULLY ERECT
I gotta say, I disagree with the QComments on this video. Everyone seems totally not into Devin (or whatever his name is), but I have to say I’m all aboard the Devin train—chooo-chooo!
There’s just something about a man like Devin, who is so buff, so masculine, and able to get fucked like it’s the end of days. I know Devin has been on other sites before, but I think Dirty Tony is where it’s at for him. Devin is dirty. The kind of sex talk he delivers to Trent is passionate and comes from the heart… well, maybe it cums from the dick. Either way, you can tell he means it. Perhaps our next highlighted pair should take some pointers…
I have one word, only one word to sum up this week in porn… LANDON. OH GAWD! It’s PATAporn with Chinpoko and I can’t wait to spread my newfound joy!! Randy Blue: Chip, Donny and Roman RATING OF 2
I feel like there are two ways to approach porn making: The first way is to make porn that shows of the chemistry between the actors. Hopefully, a good editor/filmmaker can highlight the hottest moments of fucking.
The second way is to film what you think a porn video SHOULD be. A director and actors would plan scenarios, set positions, and figure out a timeline for the fucking. Then they set the stage and film it.
Now, unless your naïve as hell, you should have already figured out that most porn is filmed the second way. It’s all lights and mirrors people, but the magic is that we believe it’s real. What separates good porn from blah porn is that good porn looks like it was approached and filmed using the first way.
Unfortunately this latest Randy Blue threesome was shot using the second way and it looks like it. This video is a snooze fest. At first I was excited to possibly see Chip suck himself off. However, he doesn’t. I mean he barely touches the tip of his cock with his tongue. And he is grunting so much from the laborious position he is in; it takes away from any sexiness that was there. He sounds like he’s going to shit himself, and well—I’m not into that.
Bottom line. (hahaha… bottom.) Anyway, the bottom line is good porn is good porn because the audience believes that the guys are way into one another and are turned on. These guys… not so much. I mean if you have to do stunts like backbends and self-sucking to attract viewers, then something was off to begin with. There is one thing hot about this video. Watching Roman get jerked off by Donny. I love it when one guy jacks another fella off. That was hot. Correction… that was the ONLY thing hot. Hence the rating of a 2 instead of a 1.
Oh my gosh! I’m so excited for a very SPECIAL Pataporn this week. I’ve been hitting some of the theater scene this week in New York, and I’ve been inspired to be more “artistic” in my porn reviews.. EEEE! Welcome to Pataporn with Chinpoko! Club Jeremy Hall: Jeremy and Adam RATING OF 5 – CUMWORTHY
You gotta get gimmick if you want to suck some head… right?
Well, Club Jeremy Hall got the memo. Dear fans, have you seen this site? It’s so great.
What I like best about the site is that you feel you’re inside the mind of Jeremy, or rather inside his sexual diary. Even the way his videos are shot seem very amateur and voyeuristic. I love that he not only does has the main camera going all the time, but that the fellas also take time with the hand-cam for those sexy close up shots. PATA PATA!
This video of Jeremy and Adam is the perfect example of what makes Club Jeremy Hall so sexy and fun. The sexual chemistry between these two is electric. And apparently Jeremy Hall and I have something in common…WE LOVE ASS!!! Jeremy can’t get enough of Adam’s ass. Atta boy, Jeremy!!
HOTTEST POST OF THE WEEK!
This is an ubersexy week for porn, dear fans. It’s as if some of the studios are pumping out some of their best work. And I do mean PUMPING! All right peeps, it’s time for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Rear Stable: Angelo Marconi, Cole Streets, Francesco D’Macho, Steve Cruz and Wilfried Knight RATING OF 5
HOTTEST POST OF THE WEEK!
Have you been to RearStable.com yet? Well, DO NOT GO! I’m telling you DO NOT GO TO REAR STABLE! This site is dangerous; it’s like the crystal meth of internet porn.
I’m not kidding. I’m completely and utterly addicted. I always tell myself, “Chinpoko, you’re just going to click on Rear Stable for one second, and then you’re going to go about your life.” Cut to me three hours later, still edging after cumming two times already. It’s too hot! IT’S ACTUALLY TOO HOT!!!! OH GOD I HAVE A REAR STABLE ADDICTION! deep breaths
Okay, I’m okay.
So another great thing about the site is their inventiveness; it always keeps me coming back to cum. Take this week’s gangbang for example. Firstly, I should say that Steve Cruz can sit on my face and twirl. I love this man more than I love my left nut.
And like all Rear Stable videos, this scene is dangerously passionate; that’s why I love them so much. I know these people are actors, but God dammit if they don’t make me believe that they’re insanely attracted to each other. And the addition of the mini-cam makes me feel like I’m a voyeur watching all the manly goodness in action. PATA PATA!
We’re flying solo this week, Maverick. Yep you got it—it’s a jack off type of week. It’s Pataporn with Chinpoko! Alpha Studs: Adam Killian RATING OF 4
Mmm… muscles, tattoos, and a thick cock. Now that’s a triple threat in Chinpoko’s book. Adam Killian shines in this video…and then he cums. PATA PATA!
Seriously though, Adam Killian has muscles for miles and apparently he’s gotta brain. As the video begins Adam gives us a tour of Berlin and he seems fairly knowledgeable. I actually love it when studios give you a bit of behind-the-scenes action from porn stars. If the guy seems like a tool, then it can make the video less hot (or hotter, depending on how dumb you like ’em).
Thankfully, Killian seems charming as he speaks to the camera. In my book, that only makes this hot jack-off scene all the hotter.
Also, I love the Alpha Studs site. It’s very laid back. It is. With the black background and the large high-quality pictures, the site seems to say, “Yeah, we like porn. So what?” It’s also super easy to navigate and all the guys are just fucking ripped—a hot site.
