This porn week was diverse and… well, different. But hey, I got off and here’s to hoping you do to. Saddle up for another PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Dominic Ford: Ricky Sinz
So Dominic Ford landed another big one folks.
Yep Ricky Sinz is doing a solo 3-D scene. AND IT’S GOING TO BE…
Ehh.
All right, don’t get me wrong, Ricky is hella hot. I love his tats and that boy’s cock is so long it could be used as a blind man’s leading stick. However, it seems like Ricky’s trying to “sell” his audience. In the beginning of the video, he talks about how excited he is to get his own 3-D glasses and become a member of Dominic Ford.
I don’t know, just seemed a bit too much “let me sell you my cock” shtick.
Let me tell you something Ricky… you’re already hot. You have an amazing body and an amazing, rock hard cock. You don’t have to sell us. See, we’re looking for porn and you’re a hot porn star… AND THAT’S IT. Thankfully, Ricky shuts up and just begins to stroke himself slowly.
The jacking in this video is really hot. Ricky definitely knows what he’s doing. I love the way he talks to the audience. He will say things like, “you wanna fuck this hole?” I actually like that. It’s like Ricky’ dirty-talking me!!!
So on the pros side—Ricky is hot and cums like a geyser.
And the Cons—is this in 3D on Dominic Ford? Oh wait, I know it is… because Ricky mentioned it 10 times.
This porn week was diverse and…well different. But hey, I got off and here’s to hoping you do too. Saddle up for another PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Johnny Hazzard Wants To Shove His Veggie In Your Oven
Okay, you know you’re hot when you don’t even have to show your “goodies” to get me turned on.
I thought I had seen it all—I really had. However, there’s something Johnny Hazzard has been hiding from you—
HE’S INTELLIGENT! And WELL SPOKEN!
AND IT’S SOOOO HOT!!!!
I’m so confused by how I feel. I’m a dick. I’m only supposed to respond to dicks, ass and cum… but there’s none of this in Johnny Hazzard’s latest cooking video blog (well there’s a lil’ ass).
I have to say, Johnny is so charismatic in this clip. Now I want to fuck him and then let him cook me dinner! Ohhh, maybe we could remake Donna Reed together! PATA PATA! All Australian Boys: Alex
I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY EXCEPT… IT’S SO BIG!
You know, they say Hollywood celebrities all have small bodies and really big heads. Maybe the secret to large porn star dicks is that they have small bodies that make their cocks look MASSIVELY HUGE! Okay, probably not the case, but can’t a dick dream?
I love my job. No, really. I really, really, REALLY love my job! And when you’re through with me today—you’ll know why. Now it’s time for PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Milk Screenwriter Dustin Lance Black Shows Off His “Oscar” On Sex Tape
An Oscar and a nice thick cock! Oh my goodness! OH MY GOODNESS!
Okay dear readers, if you don’t know who Dustin Lance Black is then get with the program. At the Oscars, Dustin’s acceptance speech reached out to all those young gays out there who feel bad and alone about being gay.
And judging by this video, it seems Dustin would like to reach out even more! In his spare time, Dustin must be at the gym constantly because his body looks amazing and with that cock! Mmmm, I bet the boys are begging for it. PATA PATA!
I know. You’ve been crazed with life right now, haven’t you? Because it’s almost pool party season! It’s heating up!!!! I can’t believe summer is almost here and holy moly!!!! Gays everywhere north of the equator are cutting carbs, running extra laps, and manscaping like hell. You may be stressed, but I won’t keep you waiting for long. The hot porn is a cumming! It’s PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Sean Cody: Mac
Ladies and Gentlemen… Chinpoko, the singing penis
*Chinpoko singing to the tune of Mac the Knife*
Oh, the shark, babe, has such a cock, dear
And his cum is, pearly white
Just a jack off on Sean Cody, babe
Just for you boys, ah…just tonight.
Ya know when that Mac jacks, with his pecs, babe
Muscles flex hard, in Sean’s porn bed.
But gay sex, though, is not for Mac, babe
Yet in high school, he gave head.
Hey the line forms, at Mac’s cock babe
Now that Mac, dear s’about to nut
He shoots a load queer, you’re gonna love it,
Oh Mac, babe, Let me in yooour BUTT! Editor’s note: We tried to get him not to sing, we really did. There’s just not talking to a stiff prick. Sorry.
June is busting out all over!!!! And hopefully someone’s busting out on your face! The porn gods have been listening and things are becoming so sizzlin’ that I am just plain erect all the damn time! Ah, I love my job and I love PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!!! Hairy Boyz: François Sagat
Ah, François is so nice, so thoughtful, so caring, and so bloody hot!
Okay so I doubt he actually was hanging around and just thought, “Hmmm… I want to go jerk off for free.”
Yeah, I call bullshit; Daddy wanted to get paid and that’s that. Still, I love this video mainly because I just love François. Maybe it’s because he’s French, but I always feel like I’m watching couture porn when he’s in the film. Maybe next time I’ll wear a beret when I lose my load watching him!
This video is pretty candid and great. As usual, François looks incredible and he’s so comfortable on camera. And oh my God—does this boy shoot. Oh, and his ass! God, to be inside that ass!
VIVE LA FRANCE!
It’s all about hand over fist this week, or hand over mouth! Either way, it’s going be dirty fun this time around at PATA PORN WITH CHINPOKO!!!! Rock Hard Jocks: Matthew Rush
Matthew Rush is pure awesomeness.
He really is. Rush remains one of the true class acts in porn and this video has all the proof you need. The best moments in this Rock Hard Jocks release are the candid outtakes.
Don’t get me wrong, Matthew Rush is still really, REALLY hot. His cock is one of the hottest dicks in the business. But why I like Matthew so much is because he doesn’t take himself so seriously. Mr. Rush always serves his porn with a smile, and I love that!
It’s heating up!!!! I can’t believe summer is almost here and holy moly!!!! The hot porn is a cummin’! Are you ready for this week’s PATA PORN WITH CHINPOKO? Playgirl: James Riley
Way to step it up Playgirl. Very nice. James Riley is one hot stud. First of all, look at that boy—no tan lines. Seriously, even his cock is tan. I mean, don’t most white boys have a penis that’s paler than them? Not James Riley. He goes the extra mile and I appreciate the effort.
But no matter what color his dick is, has anyone noticed, THAT IT IS SO LONG?!! I bet that boy could stick it in and literally tickle your ribs.
Whew! PATA PATA PATA!
I’m usually not a fan of Playgirl. Often the guys look too manicured and perfect, but James Riley is just a hottie, a real hunky man. Yum. Rock Hard Jocks: Addison and Cort Donovan
Addison, oh Addison… how I love thee. Shall I count the ways? Okay!
1. I love your long cock, it’s so big and thick, sometimes it makes me feel like I’m a small prick.
2. I love it when you talk, oh that London charm. Would you film with me fucking on a farm?
3. You love to be rimmed and I’d love it too, yet I don’t have an ass, so I’ll stick me in you.
4. Your ass is so hard, its cheeks have dimples. I love it so much and I love your temples—
That’s not so great, is it? Whatever… screw you, poets! You try rhyming with “dimples” and see what you come up with! I’m just a dick! Fucking critics….
Ahem… bottom line, Addison = hotter than hell. This one will have you precuming like a thirteen-year-old boy. Hottest post of the week!
Okay so last week I was not impressed by the week’s porn. Well apparently admitting that worked because this week—OH IT’S ON MOTHERFUCKERS! Let’s get started with PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Corbin Fisher: Fucking Elijah
PATA PATA PATA!!!! Wooooooo weeeee! What a way to kick off May!!!!
Thank you, Corbin Fisher. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Okay boys, renew your subscription because you’re going to want to see this shit!
I have to admit when I saw this post I thought to myself, “Ugh, Brent again.” Don’t get me wrong—Brent is a hottie, but lately it seems like Corbin Fisher should change its name to “Brent Dawson,” because it’s basically Brent or Dawson doing some kind of fucking.
Well today I learned a lesson. Just like in jazz music, there are standard songs. Standards are celebrated by jazz lovers and respected by jazz connoisseurs. Well, Brent is a standard of Corbin Fisher and he’s earned my respect.
Now before you watch this post you HAVE TO read Corbin’s synopsis. It totally made me chub up before I pressed play. Corbin puts in teasers like this…
In what I consider to be some of the most passionate footage I’ve ever captured, Brent ever so slowly slides his dick into Elijah’s hole and pops Elijah’s cherry. He takes it easy on Elijah at first and really lets Elijah not only get used to the sensation, but also thoroughly enjoy it.
Are you kidding me?!! Corbin is right, too. Elijah (who’s usually more aggressive) looks like he’s in seventh heaven. Honestly, this kid could be a slutty, twinky, bottom-whore in real life, but in this video I believe he’s lost his cherry. I really do. And as always, my favorite part is watching Elijah’s face as he cums while Brent is inside him.
Yum. If dicks really had mouths, we’d lap up the cream too.
Hottest post of the week.
I’m going to be honest. I was unimpressed by this week’s porn releases. What does that mean, porn masters? IMPRESS ME, BITCHES!!!!!! Luckily for you, dear readers, I’ve compiled the highlight from this week that made me a bit chubby. After all, if you can’t trust a cock’s opinion in porn, then who’s can you trust? Welcome back to PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Cocky Boys: The Clark Brothers
He’s not gay, he’s my brother!
I just had to comment on this video from last week. If you’re into brotherly love, then this one’s for you.
The video begins with Seth Clark watching football. He convincingly yells at the TV, dropping in the word fuck as often as possible. Apparently saying “fuck” increases your credibility as a porn actor.
Seth appears shocked when Bobby brings up DVD’s—apparently, it’s “dirty DVD day.” (Everyone is surprised).
The best part—and by “best” I mean worst—is their commentary while watching straight porn; it’s wretched. I mean just terrible. It’s more forced than a marriage to Liza Minnelli.
Seriously, I felt like two thirteen-year-old boys decided to write a porn script ten years ago, and unearthed it just for this scene. Bobby and Seth reminded me of an unfunny Statler and Waldorf… with their dicks hanging out.
My advice: cut the “plot.” First of all, these guys really aren’t brothers; Bobby is of the Orange race and Seth is White.
My least favorite part of this video is the detachment between the two guys. They don’t even look at one another while jacking off. They stare fixedly upon the porn playing before them. I don’t get it. Do they think that if they actually look at one another, they might have some homosexual inclinations…?
NEWSFLASH!!! YOU’RE JACKING OFF TOGETHER!!!!!!
I usually love Cocky Boys, but this was so lame I didn’t even get blue balls… try harder boys.
Whether you like big celebrities or big bulges,Sticky’s the best game in town. This week’s six Stickiest have both—so click and see what Sticks! Push-Ups Made Easy! (1,958 clicks) – Ummm… did the straight world just discover push-up underwear for their manhood? This wasn’t new news to us (cockrings work too). Check out the undies that accentuate your bulge! Polish Sausage (2,0625 clicks) – We’d love to get a look at model Jared Koronkiewicz’s Polish salami! We’ll have to drool over his legs, breast, and thighs until he serves up the main course. A Good Sweaty Run – (2,176 clicks) – US Athlete Nick Symmonds’ runs NAKED in this hot video! It’s a shoe promo that’s gone viral. You’ll work up a sweat all right, without even leaving your seat. Who’s The Biggest? (2,484 clicks) – No wonder this got so many clicks! Everyone wants to know the results of The British Medical Journal study of male penis size based on ethnicity. We wonder what lucky son of a bitch had the job of measuring cocks all day long. Is Wolverine An XY-Man? 2,503 clicks – While Hugh Jackman won’t say he’s gay, he won’t deny it either, leading us to wonder, when’s he gonna release a sex tape, dammit? Human Flags (2,257 clicks) – Who does the hotter human flag? Zac Efron and Jason Statham each do photo shoots holding themselves horizontal for the cameras. Which makes you stand up and salute? Sticky’s always got lots of great celeb and bulge bits along with your usual good mix of pop, porn, and politics. Stop by, post some Stickies of your own, and vote for your favorite. You never know what’ll pop up at the Stickiest week after week!
Okay, so apparently I made quite a fuss in the QC office last week. I don’t really remember what Editor D was talking about, but all I know is Toby won’t come near me now. So I guess… I’m sorry. There are you happy? I said it. But you know what, I’m not going to be a dick abou it—well, actually I can’t help it, but I’m not going to dwell on the past. You know why? Because there’s so many hot guys this week! So let’s get down to some PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Cocksure Men: Bo Dean and Dak Ramsey
If you like ’em big and brawny—which I do—head your dick over to Cocksure Men.
I gotta say Bo Dean is a hot hunk of a man. However, what’s great about him is that he’s pretty passionate as well. Just by looking at him I’d think he’d be into the “I need to act like a stud” role, but it’s not so dear readers. Bo is a lover. And Chinpoko wants some of that love—oh God, do I want it!
One of the hottest parts of the video for me was watching Bo and Dak kiss. Damn! You could tell that they both loved and were totally into it. During the middle of the shoot, Bo takes a break from pounding Dak to switch positions. They both stand and kiss and if you look closely, you can see Dak’s dick bouncing as they kiss. PATA!
Also, Bo knows how to fuck! Damn if only I had an ass! I would beg for it! Beg for it I tell you! HOTTEST POST OF THE WEEK! Rugger Bugger: Cooper Cronk
I… I, uh… My name is Chinpoko… The President of United States is Barack Ob—…
I can’t. Cooper Cronk… so gorgeous… I can’t… think… Where am I?
An Adonis. I want to be inside him. Real bad. Pata, pata, p… ph… where am I?…
Words can’t describe… I think I’m in love… Cooper… cum on my face… oh wait, real dicks don’t have faces. DAMN YOU, BIOLOGY!
Boy! Have I been working hard this week! I really think I’m the hardest working stiff in the porn business. Get it? Stiff? Ahahaha… ha… ahem… Alright already, enough with my jokes because it’s PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! CFNM.net: Detention(3)
Talk about a gender fuck! CFNM (Clothed Female Nude Male) spotlights one of its hottest lil’ twinks—Todd. This kid is adorable, but you’ll never guess the things Miss T puts him through.
I’m usually not a fan of strap-ons, but Miss T pulls it off with class. Yes, I just used “strap-on” and “class” in the same sentence. When you watch the video you can totally tell Todd likes sucking her cock, even though he “acts” like he doesn’t. And when she fucks him! Ah, man his face! PATA PATA PATA!
One thing though, Clothed Female Nude Male??? That seriously has to be the lamest name for a porn site ever. Come on you people, get creative. What would you think if I called this feature “Porn Review”? Exactly. Dirty Tony: Angus
Good thing I’m not vegetarian, because this lil’ dick wants some beef… Angus Beef!!!!
Angus is just delectable. Those eyes, those teeth, and THAT BIG FAT COCK! PATA PATA PATA! This kid loves beating off. I mean loves it. He goes on forever and ever. Also, his technique is incredible. He mixes up the stroking with fast and slow, palming, and delicate fingers. This dick was impressed and really hard watching him go to town on himself. In fact, I was a bit jealous. I mean, I don’t have hands; I have to get off the “hard way”… no hands.
Hahaha! Get it? “Hard Way.” I’m the funniest prick ever!
Seriously though, a tantalizing part of this video is Angus’ cheeks—by which I mean his facial cheeks. Although his ass cheeks are nice too! I love how he gets so flushed, especially when he cums. Yummers! All that nice cum on his teddy bear tummy. PATA PATA!
Hottest post of the week!
Well there’s no Chinpoko this week, folks. APRIL FOOLS!!! You think we would go a week without giving you the porn roundup you love? Since you are such a good sport, here’s your PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Corbin Fisher: Fucking Zeke Corbin Fisher needs to think of better stories…
Really Corbin…really? You really think Zeke just happened to pop down for a shoot not expecting to bottom and then, oops! “Let me fit Dawson’s cock between my ass cheeks.”
I don’t buy it, so be more original next time.
Now that said…
THIS VIDEO IS HOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
Zeke has got the tightest, hottest little body you ever did fuck. And Dawson… well, he’s Dawson. I would applaud him but I have no hands; I guess I could slap my balls together, but well—that hurts.
I forgot how well Dawson gives head. He slurps Zeke’s cock like a Push-Up Pop. Still, the hottest part of this video is Zeke’s face. You can tell this boy has been fucked before and he loves a dick up his ass. It’s almost as if he’s seeing an old friend again. There’s no way Zeke is a new cummer to butt sex. Oh yeah, the cumming! Dawson pounds Zeke until he shoots all over his tight flat stomach. The ridges in Zeke’s stomach as he cums are so tight and hot.
To end, Dawson—always the gentlemen—leans over and gives his newfound fuck a kiss. Next time, Corbin, cut the stories or hire a better writer.
PATA PATA PATA! Club Inferno: Evan Matthews (Rosebud)
HOLY FUCKING CHRIST ON A CROSS! WHAT THE HELL IS EVAN MATTHEWS DOING WITH HIS ASS? THAT’S THE MOST HORRIFYING AND MESMERIZING THING I’VE SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!!
I really think he uses that to hypnotize men…
Scariest post of the week. My eyes… my eyes—oh wait, I don’t really have eyes. I’m a dick.
As we begin Chinpoko’s weekly rant, QC feels obligated to remind our readers these are Chinpoko’s opinions… not our own. We’ve tried to persuade him, but there’s no reasoning with a stiff dick, so onward to PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Corbin Fisher: Elijah’s First Time
Okay, before you watch this video, YOU HAVE TO READ CORBIN’S DESCRIPTION! It made me hard, you should read it for yourself, and that’s all I will say about that.
Prepare yourself ladies, because this is one hot video. I don’t care if this is really Elijah’s first time or not—let’s be honest, he’s probably fucked an entire soccer team in an ally while drunk off his ass—but Corbin says it’s his first. Whatever you say Corbin, just keep bringing the hot boys.
It probably doesn’t matter which time it is for Elijah, because Elijah made me feel like it was my first time. Seriously, if I had an ass I’d beg for Elijah to pop my cherry! Oh, the way he moans and groans throughout the scene, you can tell he’s totally loving it. Jared is also a super cute twink. As he bounces on Eli’s cock, his hair flops along with his hard cock. And I love the way his cheeks get flushed.
The cumshot is the hottest part. Jared swallows the load AND jerks himself off at the same time. Jared’s quite the gentleman.
Hottest post of the week! PATA, PATA, PATA! QCA Art: François Sagat in Wet Dreams
Oh my God. I never get tired of Francois Sagat. I think he has one of the most well-proportioned bodies in the business. He’s not too big and his legs aren’t super skinny (cough Jeremy from this week’s Randy Blue cough cough!). I love these wet shots, except here’s the problem: I got Zero magazine so I could nut on the pages of lovely Francois, but… I DON’T HAVE ANY MOTHERFUCKING HANDS! I CAN’T TURN THE PAGES! Damn you, animator… damn you! Hmmm, maybe I need to get a butler. Yes, a cock butler!
It’s porn. It’s Chinpoko. And it’s why you come back every week to see what Queerclick’s lil’ dick is up to. It’s PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO! Xtra Inches: Cory Koons and Rick Gonzales
Cory Koons has got the hottest little ass ever. Apparently, his background’s very diverse—he’s from four different countries. But truthfully, I couldn’t give a flying fuck where the boy’s from; I just want to see more of that ass. Rick beats Cory’s ass like a red-headed stepchild. I mean, you can actually see Cory’s tight ass lips pursed around Rick’s thick cock. PATA PATA PATA! I think they should let me take Cory’s ass for a spin. Road trip with Chinpoko! Sean Cody: Travis Sean Cody’s starting to amp up his editing skills. Instead of just showing some guy jacking off, Mr. Cody’s starting to make art out of porn. And I love it!
PATA PATA PATA!!!!
Travis is hot, Hot, HOT! In the beginning of the video, Sean asks him some pretty personal questions and Travis just smiles and answers. Travis talks about fluffing his hot cock before wrestling matches; he doesn’t want the other guys to think he has a small dick.
Soon Sean has Travis slapping his pole. Travis is a good boy and moans and sighs all throughout the scene. As Travis strokes, the camera not only focuses on his hard pole, but his huge biceps (thudding back and forth) and hairy pits as well. Soon Travis’s left hand travels down to his ass. The boy begins finger-banging himself until he works himself up to a pretty hot cum shot.
The next scene is in a gym. Travis says he’s straight. However, when Sean asks Travis to choose between Justin Timberlake or Brad Pritt, Travis says Brad Pitt without hesitation. Hmmm… maybe Chinpoko could convert this boy. PATA PATA PATA! I love it when Travis rubs his cum across his abs while crunching. I bet it tastes so good.
While Travis strokes himself in the gym, the camera pays special attention to his washboard abs. Yum. When he finally comes, Travis shoots all over a punching bag while his body trembles.
The hottest thing about this guy is his face. When he comes… ahhhh! It leaves me speechless. His face contorts into the most aching yet blissful face. I only hope we see more of this boy on Sean Cody.
Hottest post of the week. PATA PATA PATA!
What’s our war cry for dicks everywhere? You got it, it’s Chinpoko’s “PATA” call—PATA PATA PATA! Whenever you hear it, you should be grateful even if we aren’t getting laid, because Chinpoko’s always out there trying to get laid for you and I—for all of us! That’s why we love this week’s PATAPORN WITH CHINPOKO!
Cocky Boys: Rex and Cameron
There’s nothing like a little rest, relaxation, and dick sucking! If you’re somewhere cold longing for summer, this video will defnitely turn up the heat.
Firstly, Rex and Cameron are some hot fellas. They’re both not too muscular, not too twinky, not too nasty, and not too clean-cut—they’re just right.
We’re supposed to believe that Rex is napping at the beginning of the video, though of course, no one’s really sleeping. Cameron decides to take advantage of Rex. I must say, I do like porn in the sunlight. As Cameron mouths Rex’s cock through his underwear, the bright sun illuminates Rex’s face as he moans with delight.
Soon Cameron begins sucking. Rex has got a nice cock. In fact, it’s pretty—real pretty. I think Cameron thinks the same, because only after a few minutes, he takes a seat on it like a king riding Rex’s royal throne.
Cameron rides the hell out of Rex’s cock and takes it all! As Cameron gets fucked, his own tool bounces up-n-down staying so hard—I loved it.
Then the boys fuck on their side—ehh, uneventful.
However, for the cum shot, the boys decide to take it inside (cum doesn’t show up very well in sunlight). Cameron eagerly jacks off Rex while begging him to cum. Rex’s cock becomes so purple and engorged… ah, the beauty!
However, my favorite part of this video is the MASSIVE load Cameron shoots on Rex’s stomach. Boy took it home! In fact, he should have pointed to the outfield like Babe Ruth. Believe me, Cameron definitely hits a no-miss home run! Also, I love how the cum just lingers in the crevasses of Rex’s abs— such a wonderful body.
I shot my load and then some—get on this one. Next Door Buddies: Orgy – Shane Erickson, Alexy Tyler, Christian Wilde & Spencer Reed
ORGY! ORGY! ORGY! I can’t—so many hot men! I can barely speak. Yum! I love orgies. You know, you can’t really get enough dicks for a good ol’ fashioned orgy. Ah the memories, the nostalgia… knowing that being banged by four guys is just all a night’s work. Good for you, Next Door Boys!
